ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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