My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
this hospital has no fireball
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
