sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
