Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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