We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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