I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
