What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
