I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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