I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
