Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
dude. I can hear the air.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
