She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
