i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Randomize