The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My ass is underappreciated
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
