i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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