i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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