how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
