Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
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My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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