I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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