You really coming over, don't trick.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
