it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
