im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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