Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
