Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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