why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
