listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...