I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.