This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter