she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
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he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
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She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!