There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
