Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
