it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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