can u get pink eye on your cock?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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