I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
