1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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