Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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