Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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