dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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