Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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