She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
