those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
