it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
