First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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