My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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