if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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