I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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