so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
