Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
