Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Terrible idea I love it
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
