I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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