All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
