Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize