I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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