he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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