My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize