Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
