Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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