you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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