My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
