How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
