If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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