I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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