hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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