when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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