Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize