he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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