You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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